Wednesday 11th November

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Happy hump day!!! I find Wednesday is usually the hardest day of the week for me leaving the kids and going into work – I’m not sure why but it’s always a struggle! What excuse can I come up with to stay at home! I have to push myself every Wednesday- but I do it!! I feel like I’ve been away from them for days already and want nothing more but to snuggle up with them for the day and mother them 24/7 – but the working life calls and one must carry one!

The day started, ehm, slowly today! We were up 4-5 times during the night with our teething baby and I opted for an extra few minutes in bed while the kids were still asleep and daddy had left for work, which I later regretted when I was 30 minutes late for work – sorry most patient boss in the world! We broke a mirror and had another nappy explosion before leaving the house! Yummy!

I failed to prepare last night but certainly was not prepared to fail this morning – baby bag not ready, clothes not set out, lunches not made – I think I need to re-read my own Top tips for working mothers!! So yes, as you can sense, this morning was mayhem, and this evening wasn’t any less busy!

The poor baby screamed the whole way home in the car (20 minutes) so myself and my 4 year old sang every nursery rhyme imaginable in order to keep him some what calm – anyone else ever imagine there being hidden cameras placed in the car??! How funny would it be to look back on yourself frantically doing what you can to keep the kids content, whilst trying to get home safely?! He let a big burp out as soon as I lifted him from his seat when we got home – success – crying over! We got dinner made with the help of daddy, kids to bed at 7.30 and we are currently watching The Moaning of Life. Karl Pilkington – what a man!!

The silver lining? We found our sons second tooth this evening! So proud!! Who cares about the rush and busy days – these are the little things that matter!!

Lunches at made, clothes are out, we are prepared for our Thursday morning – what could possible go wrong??!!

Let me know how your Wednesday went – was it more or less hectic than ours?

Have a lovely evening and here’s to hoping we all get a full nights sleep tonight!! (Can you sense the sarcasm??!)

Working Mumzy xx

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8 Tips for Working Mothers

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Numero uno – Leave work, at work

It is so important to unwind and be 100% focused on your famiy when you get home. Whether you have a big car ride ahead of you, a short walk home or a journey on a jam-packed, smelly, public transport vehicle, take the time to get out of work mode and switch the mentality to mummy mode. If I have a stressful day at home and bring that home with me, the evening with the family is hugely impacted by that. It may be easier said than done but I can assure you that switching off once you leave the work place will be worth it!

2) Little or No Social Media until the Kids are out for the count!

This might seem pretty obvious, but keep the phones/laptops/tv’s to a minimal in the evenings. Myself and my partner started to realise that we were getting home, having dinner and then straight back on our phones to get our Facebook fix. A no-no when you are trying to have quality time with the kids! You end up shushing the poor mites because you’re in the middle of watching the Kardashians latest ridiculous stunt for publicity. Myself and my partner even restricted phone-time after the kids went asleep as it was taking over our quality time too! Having the chats with your partner once the mayhem is over is equally important too.

3) Prepare, prepare, prepare

Now, this is something that I KNOW I should do to make life easier, but we all have those evenings that you just want to do absolutely nothing once the kids are asleep. Laziness in the evening = mayhem in the morning! Doing the lunches in the evening, getting the baby bag ready, leaving out clothes for the kids and yourself will make for a much more stress-free morning. If your anything like me, it takes forever planning outfits for yourself let alone the kids as well so, put the extra few minutes aside in the evening to get it all done and then your main task in the morning is getting out that door on time (so long as the baby doesn’t decide to do a poo just before you leave, your toddler doesn’t have a melt down mid-getting dressed and your plumbing plays ball allowing you to wash as you please!)

4) Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

Whether you’re a single mother or have a partner/husband by your side, do not be afraid to ask for help. I found myself taking a lot more than I should have been when I went back to work after my first born. I felt that I shouldn’t be asking for help and should be able to juggle it all myself. Reality – I could not juggle it ALL and your loved ones do not mind helping (and if they do, then have a word!!). Most men (sorry guys) have to be told what to do and once they are, they are aware of what is expected of them. We have a tendency to think men should know what needs to be done and then explode when we are left to do it all alone. I can assure you, men are different creatures. They really really have no clue what needs to be done haha S-P-E-L-L it out for them 🙂 Likewise if you are living with your mother or friend, ask for what you need help with. Chances are they are more than happy to help!

5) Dinner at the table – as a family 

My 4 year old begs to eat her dinner on the couch watching The Simpsons every single night without fail. We stopped dinners on the couch due to more food and drink ending up on the floor and couch rather than belly’s – now it’s so we can have more family time and chat about what our days consisted of (more so our daughter filling us in on what the other kids had for lunch today or who got into trouble and didn’t get the much wanted star of the day – we have a gossip on our hands already clearly!).

6) Don’t forget the date nights/social life

As mothers who work, we tend to forget that we actually need time for ourselves too. Time at work, is not time for ourselves. Even though it feels like ‘free time’ because we’re not at home with the kids, it’s not. Organise a night with the girls once a month and allow your other half to do the same. Don’t forget the date nights either. Just because you are parents, doesn’t mean you have to become old farts and fall asleep infront of the telly every Saturday night at 9pm (us every week!). Get out there, have a few drinks, go to the cinema, go for a nice meal. Do it! And do it guilt free. The kids will want you to be happy when they are old enough to express it!

7) Will it matter in 5 years time?

We all have the occasional freak out when we are not on cue with what society says should be. Every one else’s child in creche is potty trained, mine isn’t – I need to take 2 weeks off work NOW and sort this. No you do not! Your child will not be in nappies at 16 years of age. Chill out and go with your gut – every child is different and mummy knows best. If you feel that something major is happening, take a step back and assess whether this will matter in 5 years time, if the answer is no, then you do not need to stress as much as you are.

8) It’s trial and error

Do what works for you and your family – forget every body else! It is a constant learning curve and as the days go on, you will discover what works best for you and your family. Forget what you SHOULD be doing, and go with your instinct.

By no means am I an expert – these are just my tips as a working mother. Hopefully they help and if anyone has any questions, just drop me a line!!

Welcome!

So, who am I? And what am I doing here?

I am a normal (I like to think!) girl, with 2 young kids, an extremely tall partner and a normal office job! Picture perfect huh? The reality? MAYHEM!! But, as hectic, crazy and busy as it is, I wouldn’t change it for a thing (puke) – well except to be a stay at home mum, with a 7 bedroom house and brand new car sitting in my detached garage 😉

Anyway, I do not lead an exciting life – you won’t find any extreme life stories here, but you will find the brutal honest truth of a girl who works a full time job while trying to create a happy home life for my kiddies and attempting to keep that spark alive with my partner. Emphasis on the word TRYING there! If I had a penny for every time I heard ‘how do you do it’… well lets just say, that detached garage would be reality! 🙂 Truth is, I just get on with it, and just do what I have to do! That’s not to say there isn’t tears, snots and mini-breakdowns along the way!

The idea of this blog is to try and make the reality of a working-mum known. It’s not all stress and rush but it’s not all fun and games either. I hear so many people judging women who work – there is definitely a stigma there. For the past 4 years, I have tried to overcome that stigma and I guess I am still working on the guilt that comes with being a working mother.

This is my story.

I have two gorgeous (not biased!) kiddies, I work a full time job in thr busy City Centre and I try to maintain my social life as best I can also. After my first child, I found myself riddled with guilt every single day that I was not at home full time with my baby. I had no choice and got on with it. When my second was born and I was due to go back to work, the full blown guilt was back – x2! I was constantly coming up with scenarios of how I could cut down on my days, how I could finish up early or how I can spend that extra few hours at home.

The result? A crap employee!! How I didn’t get the sack is beyond me. My boss is a patient man!! The reality was, I need my job in order to maintain the life we live. My partner is self-employed and is never stuck for work but was I willing to put the burden on him to bring home the bacon while I did what I wanted to do – be at home with the kids? No. The Independent Woman – Destiny’s Child – lyrics played over and over in my head!

So, I either suck it up, do the best I can at both of my jobs or wallow in self pity and be miserable for the rest of eternity – option one it was!

And so here I am. Sitting at my desk, while my eldest is in school and my baby is with the child minder (here comes the guilt).

My hope is to let women out there know that being a working mum is not something to be guilty about. Yes, it is natural to feel guilt when it comes to our kids BUT we are doing this for our babies, we are making an example of ourselves and our kids will hopefully feel the effects of this and be proud of us when they are our age. It’s all about balance and without balance, lets face it – we would be disasters!

I guess women have been doing this for decades now however, it feels brand new to me so I want to share my story. I grew up with my mum at home with us – which was great. However, I guess this wasn’t as great for her! Oblivious to us, she was broke and I guess this lead to her being unhappy. When I was a teenager, she turned her life 180 and started her a career and is now an ambitious working woman – I couldn’t be prouder. I was lucky to have experienced both a stay at home mother and a working mother. For the sake of sanity, I would take the working mother all day every day!

I am usually a very private person but I hope to let you guys in, tell my story and hopefully inspire other young mums out there to be the best person they can be!

So lets get started with the first task of the day – 6 weeks before Christmas, my 4 year old announced that Santa was not real. This was sprung on me 5 minutes before dropping her off to the child minder. How do I respond to this? How do I convince my daughter that this make-belief character is in fact real? We’ve been there already with the Easter Bunny – I was defeated. But SANTA? Every child needs the magic of Santa in their lives. This little 4 year old’s mind works on facts, what she has previously seen and been told and needs an explanation for everything. Where she gets this from I have no idea but a little bit of me is proud that my 4 year old is wiser than believing that an old man lives in the North Pole makes presents all year around and delivers them to the whole world in 24 hours. HOWEVER, she is 4! It is my job to make Christmas as magical as possible for her.. and if I have to lie to her face for the next 6 years, then so be it! I have 8 hours in the office to come up with a plan of action!!! Wish me luck!!